Archive Monthly Archives: March 2018

To be or not to be … happy

Living in the XXI century I was expecting to see a different mindset but so-called tradition still shows its teeth.

I encounter more couples whom feel they are drowning in their own lives and think they are supposed to live a different life than the one they are living but they cannot get to it. It`s either the lack of money, lack of time or most cases, they hit a brick wall when trying to talk to their partner.

I know the teachings the old generations were brought up with, teachings which were passed to us as well: some stuck to them like glue to paper; others chose to break free from them.

They are as follows: go to school, then University, find a good job, get married, have kids, work hard to raise them, stay alive to be able to get to retirement age and then do whatever you want.

Isn`t it kind of late? How many of us will get to retire since we live hectic and stressful lives?

There is another word of wisdom, sneaked in there by a wise man, who sounds like this: ”Don`t delay, do it today”. No, it isn`t about deep cleaning the entire house but about living today, because tomorrow this offer might expire.

I am not a pessimist, I couldn`t be even when I went through a rough patch but I saw a lot of people very dear to me, whose lives were cut short unexpectedly and every time I said ”I will start living tomorrow, because I don`t know when my holiday here is over”.

A lot of us are waking up to the reality, slowly but steady our number will rise and that makes me happy because I am bored to live amongst robots and amazingly enough, be seen as the abnormal one.

Actually, they are right to see me that way: the normality is given by the majority. (Steven James Bartlett`s book title “Normality does not equal mental health” felt like a relief  🙂 ). I am still waiting for the time when the robots will be seen as abnormal and eventually, they will awake as well.

You, the ones awake, must keep the dialogue open with the ones you love and tell them what you expect from life, so they can tell you the same. Don`t let the distance come between you because you`ll become the loneliest people in the world, even though you are in a relationship!

There isn`t a worse feeling than a couples loneliness and I am not talking about what I`ve read.

If you chose to be with that person for a lifetime it means you had a lot of things in common. Start there and go beyond. Your partner has desires too, but he is not telling them to you because “we don`t have enough money, we have the kids to take care of, the workload is getting harder, we don`t have enough time, we have other priorities, etc.”

The number 1 priority is Our Happiness!

While we are working to pay bills, mortgages, and food, our inner being gets no satisfaction. Even farm animals are revolting from time to time and they have no conscience, no holiday plans, nor other priorities.

We are more than a salary, more than an employee, more than a mother/father, husband/wife, lover; we permanently need new stimuli, we need to see nice things, to visit unknown, exciting places, to read, to relax, to carry on with our hobbies, to be able to evolve, because THAT`S the reason we are here!

The painful conclusion is that we became voluntary slaves because we are not aware of our actual status.

If we don`t have time for ourselves, we don`t have time for our loved ones either, so why are we lying to ourselves that we are living?

Happiness does not come wrapped in fancy gift boxes, to fit our societies rules and standards and it doesn`t have any reasons to obey them. Happiness came first, society appeared after.

To be able to live in a fair world, we would have to offer happiness the head of the table and make society yield to it.

How can life be beautiful, when people are following rules invented to chain them!?