Family vs. Friends (a.k.a. A Bunch of Magic)

I recently received an email that drove me to write this article.

All beings are born and die alone, but from the moment they are born `till they get to the … final earthly countdown, they meet other beings who help them build, bit by bit, their own character; they either push them further on a higher road or they hinder their evolution; some will open a window for them, others will close the door. Some will be with them for a moment, some for a while, others will be there, at their side, forever. We need ALL these beings in our lives because they help us evolve.

The one that reaches out to help us needs to be appreciated on the  same level as the one that shuts the door in our face; the last one was sent by the Universe to tell us: ”This is not the road you need to take, try next door!”

The ones that are walking with us on the same path and support us become our friends. If they manage to withstand the test of time, they become part of our soul family.

I was lucky enough to have a lot of friends, the most wonderful and noble beings, that fate brought in my way, throughout my life, reason enough to see them as part of my family.

Some of them stayed with me for a while, then our ways parted; others stuck by my side until today and I want to thank them for the patience and love they showed me. I know I can be a difficult person but they managed to ignore that small, insignificant fact 🙂 and made me happy by staying in my life.

So, I am one of those people that have a big and diverse family, made out of friends, of all “shapes and sizes”; a united, beautiful, strong family, which I love and respect and keep close through thick and thin.

I know cases in which the natural family was not able to provide a stable, warm and caring environment for the individual. He tried his best, most of his life, to integrate, emotionally striving, but was left with a thirst for belonging.     

I don`t consider building a family ourselves a bad thing. I don`t see anything wrong in feeling “as a family” with people that are not our blood relatives. 

In Romanian there is a saying: ”Blood will never become water” but I am inclined to reject it. As in any relationship, when all fails, it`s better to withdraw and invest your energy in something that brings you satisfaction, peace of mind, in people that are on the same level of vibration with you and complete you.  

I know what I am saying sounds cruel and heartless, but we are all special, unique beings and we have the right to choose who we are spending our time with, who makes us feel happy and harmonious, with whom we are able to be ourselves, without the fear of being judged and blamed for everything. The ones that see us for who we are and accept us that way are really our family.

There are families that use emotional blackmail to keep the person enslaved, making him feel guilty, indebted to them, useless without them, without an exit, because “you cannot choose your family”.

I know the saying, but it supports the exact same thing as the Romanian one, and I have to insist that there is another option; you CAN build your own family, one that gives you the feeling of peace, well-being, acceptance, belonging, understanding, moral and emotional support, and unconditional love.

There are parents that think of themselves and act as masters towards their children because they didn`t understand they created free beings. They gave them life for themselves, not for their own personal use. They created a being so that being can experiment life on their own terms, make their own choices, be the only master of their life. The parents are meant to be teachers, guides and educators.   

I am writing this article for you, my dear friends, my lovely family made out of the most beautiful, wonderful people; the ones that stood by me when I was happy and sad, when I was full of joy and in big trouble, when I kept silent for months at a time and they respected my choice without feeling left out or abandoned. When they offered me guidance and help without acting as my judge or expected something in return, when they cried and laughed with me, when they supported my craziest ideas. They love me and I love them back, no matter how often or rarely we talk, no matter in which part of the world we are.

When I am in their presence our souls vibrate until we melt into each other, forming one big soul. I feel my heart full of joy equal only to the one felt by hermits when they are in the presence of greatness.

I feel tears in my eyes only if I think of how modest, beautiful and bright they all are, as they are made out of feelings, not flesh.

Since they are part of my life, they will be in my articles from time to time.

I feel honored by their presence, I feel complete and the only wish I have is to have them by my side for as long as possible.

Family is the basic cell of society… What do we do if we are not lucky enough to have one that helps us grow and become the best we can be? No, we are not alone, and we are able to find people like us and have the family we want and need.

I know beautiful families composed of grandparents, parents, children, grand-children and I also know beautiful families that are not blood-related.

Both are the basic cells of our society, a healthy and harmonious one.

P.S. “A family of kindred spirits is like a plate of food. No matter where they are coming from, together they form a great dish” (Lucy is a wise-ass 🙂 ).

Also, we thought since houses have names in some parts of the world; why not find a name for our family? And since they are a lovely bunch and they appeared in my life when I was lost and gave up hope, we decided to call our family A Bunch of Magic.